The Matrix, but with Potatoes
Spoilers for a twenty year-old movie await ...
My kids and I made a light with four potatoes. We tried to make a clock but the clock was broken. The light wasn't that great, either, but it was a light.
Alright, back it up a bit ...
It was just before Christmas and I thought I would get my eldest a science experiment as a present. So I shopped on Amazon and, of course, they are all the same so I got the cheapest one available. Maybe I should have spent more money.
The present arrived and ... look, it was so crap that I couldn't give it to my child as a present. It was just crap. Crap all the way. Even adding four potatoes couldn't make it less crap.
So I thought I'd keep it for the holidays for when they came up to me with the inevitable, "Dad, I'm bored."
It didn't take long. About two days.
But it was a beautiful afternoon with the kids building a little red led light powered by 4 potatoes.
And it got me thinking.
How many potatoes do we waste a year? Could we turn these into power? (Yes, I know, it wasn't a great thought -- I presume potatoes that can't be sold for supermarkets are sold to mashed-potato makers or chip makers or animal feedlots or something like that. But it was a thought. A valid thought. A thought I had on my very own.)
I don't think we could power the whole of humanity on left-over potatoes, but we could probably power a farm or two, maybe some street lights. And there's more than just potatoes: how much charge could you get out of a strawberry? Or a cabbage? What happens if you mashed them all up and inserted some electrodes? Would it all mix together into a powered soup?
I have no idea, and just writing these words has exhausted the thought for me. I'm not going to set this up as an experiment. The four potatoes will stay burning the light away.
But another thought hit me: if I were to eat these potatoes now, will that have less carbs because they have used some energy in powering the light? How long do I have to burn the light for -- or how many lights do I need to burn -- before these potatoes become carb free? Would the potato look any different? All shriveled up and such?
Is this the world's silliest diet? Stick a few electrodes in your potatoes to make them low-carb ... God, it sounds like something that will be on TikTok in six months from now.
The Lord help us all.
... Lol, I don't think there were any spoilers, after all.